un-bee-levable

Yesterday I forgot my breakfast. Since I've been changing my eating habits, one habit I've had to add is eating breakfast. So, sometimes when I forget my breakfast I have to run across the street to a "cafeteria"-type building on campus and I just stop by there on my walk in to work and pick up a little to-go bowl of cereal. Yesterday's choice was plain Total cereal with a little skim milk. So, I get my bowl of cereal and I'm walking to my office when I (stupidly) walk under what I call the "bee-tree." I have no idea why, but there's a particular tree here on campus that is SWARMING with bees. I mean, that tree looks like it's moving because there are so many bees flying in/around it. I typically avoid the tree altogether by walking on the other side of the street. My only past experience with bees was getting stung on the buttocks while attending a Hot Air Balloon Festival a few years ago, so I wanted to avoid any future run-in's with The Bees. Yesterday morning I suppose I was so enthralled with my yummy cereal that I moseyed on under the tree while in route to my office. BIG MISTAKE.

As I passed under the tree a bee started buzzing around my face and I immediately lost my cool. Since I had my big heavy purse on my shoulder and my cereal in my one hand and my spoon (of course!) in the other, i started BLOWING at the bee. So here I am, standing still as a pole, blowing at a bee, trying to get it to go away. Then when that didn't work I started taking steps backwards--while STILL blowing at the bee. Needless (probably) to say neither of those things worked, so I dropped my purse and set (calmly) my cereal on the ground and then took off running. I zigged and zagged and weaved and bobbed....and that darn bee was keeping up with me the whole way. In fact, he was flying circles around my head and I am pretty sure I heard him saying, "HAHA! YOU THINK YOU CAN OUT RUN ME?? I'M GOING TO STINK YOU IN THE BUTTOCKS!" It was really scary. So here I am, in my professional environment, with my stuff splayed on the sidewalk running, ducking, and zig-zagging, while trying to get out of the grasp of this stubborn bee. I'm pretty sure I was the picture of competence for all my eye clinic patients.

Well, regardless of how stupid I looked, it worked, because eventually the bee was no longer buzzing in my face. I calmly straightened my shirt, brushed the sweat off my brown, and walked back to my purse and cereal. I picked up my purse and slung it over my shoulder...picked up my cereal and began eating as though nothing had happened.

I *might* have put a protective hand over my buttocks the rest of the way to my office. Once you get stung in the butt, you don't risk it again.