So, Saturday night we went to church. (for the one person who reads this who doesn't really know a lot about me, my church is a Christian church but they are a very contemporary church, so they offer services on Saturday nights, Sunday mornings, and Sunday nights. This allows for a larger percent of the population to attend...especially if you don't do mornings..like me.) Anyway, we went to church and although the preaching was good, it didn't speak to me as much as the songs did. Lately my mood has been suffering. Not because I'm angry or depressed. I'm just "down". I am saddened by the misfortunes of Jules. If you've been reading lately you know that Jules quit her job because it was a very damaging environment for her. She did so with faith that she would find something else quickly. That was 3 months ago. So far, not an inkling of a job has come through for her, and we just can't quite understand why. So, we have passed the anger stages and moved on to the hopeless stages. Things have been rough, and even when good things happen we have a hard time celebrating because we are just waiting on that next shoe to drop. But Saturday, as we sat at church, the songs began to speak to me. They were words of hope. I felt a calmness that I haven't felt in a long time. Then, I began to remember that Satan would like me to feel forgotten. He will try everything to make me feel in a deep, dark, hopeless situation. But the truth is, we're not. In reality, we have NO IDEA what is in store for us, and God's plans are not to harm us. They are for us to prosper. So...I felt hope.
Sunday we went to the Rockies game with our friends from church, because it was Faith day and all the churches in the area bought tickets. After the game Steven Curtis Chapman played. He talked about how difficult it's been for his daughter to have been accidentally killed. He had his son there with him, Will Franklin. Poor kid. Anyway, SCC began to talk about how this song he wrote years ago called "Who's going to love Maria?" has new meaning to him. He was clearly fighting the emotion the whole time. Clouds started to roll in as he was talking. He made the comment that if we saw him take off towards the lightening to just let him go. He said he's ready to go Home, and see Maria again. The pain was clearly more than he could bear. So he started singing the song and slowly rain started to fall, like God was crying right along with Steven Curtis Chapman. Then, the brightest rainbow I've ever seen was painted across the sky right behind Steven Curtis Chapman, where it was impossible to miss. God created the rainbow as a symbol of hope and of a promise that he would take care of us. So...I felt hope (and I hope Steven Curtis Chapman did too).
It truly was a weekend of reminders that things would be okay. Yesterday the washer broke in our apartment. Luckily we rent, and the washer and dryer are included, so we don't have to pay for it. But, I think it was a desperate attempt by Satan to bring us down again. But, you know what, it won't work. I feel hope. Things will be OK.
And I will keep telling myself that until I am positive it's true.
Fake it till you make it. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment