Would you mind passing me thazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........*snore*

Hi.

I come to you from the land of SLEEPY today. I didn't go to sleep very well last night and then I didn't wake up very good today--which means I didn't get any coffee today.

(Late night + Early Morning) / no coffee = dozing all day.

And the reason I didn't fall asleep very well??

A cramp in my lung.

Yes. My Lung. The right one to be exact. And it was in the inferior lobe. I think it might have gotten hooked on a rib or stuck in between two of my ribs while I was curled up on the couch watching one of the final-airing episodes of Pushing Daisies. Then when I stood up to go to bed, OUCH! I think it took a while for my lung to get pushed out from in between my ribs, or to get un-hooked from the bottom of my ribs. Those bones are probably sharp.

So, finally I went to sleep. After the cramp in my Lung.

I'm serious.

And even though I'm sleepy...today is like Thursday, since tomorrow is Wednesday before we're off Thursday and Friday, so it's a Wednesday-Friday. That makes today Thursday. Well, really it's Tuesday-Thursday.

I have no idea what I'm writing about. I'm so tired.

Fatty-Fatty, Two-by-Four...

I accidentally just ate milano cookies.

Not just one. Not even two.

I won't tell you how many.

I will tell you it was too many.

OOps.

But don't you think the serving size is tricky with Milano cookies? I mean, they put 5 in that little crinkly cup, and it's so convenient to just count the 5 cookies as ONE serving. (ha!!!)

And before I would have said, "oh well, I blew it today, so why not eat all the crap I want and start again tomorrow."

But right now I say, "oh well. I'll finish out the day as though the "Milano Raid 2008" did not happen. "

I'm seriously not going to stress out. So, either I'm making huge strides (mentally) in the realistic approach to losing weight...

...or I'm in COMPLETE denial...

either way...I'm okay with it. ;-)

At First I was Afraid...I was petrified...

I'm embarking on a journey that is Weight Watchers. YAY! And I don't want to talk about it much yet, because I'm just starting and I'm just getting into the "making smarter choices" mindset...(and I'm not there yet!!!). So, I don't want to talk about it yet...but I do want to say that this morning I had a comment on my previous post about WW and it was from the woman who inspired me to start WW. She helped me believe that I CAN do it and I've felt inspired by her. She left me a comment that said She was proud of me and that she was rooting for me. Now I know that I don't know her personally. But I read about her everyday. I hear about her struggles and her smart kids and her funny life and her dog that barfs and her husband who brushes his beard and her job that doesn't care about her. The thing is, she's such a REAL person. She's friendly and funny and she cares about people. She talks about life and love and God, but not in such a oh-so-holy-you-can't-breathe-in-the-same-room kind of way. She's fun and loyal and I don't even know her personally. I know it sounds weird, but I really look up to her. I think she's great. So when she's shown the world that she can do WW...and succeed, I think I can do it too! And she left me a comment saying she was proud of me and she was rooting for me. It really meant a lot. Because I have been afraid to let go completely. I have been afraid of starting to try to lose weight, because what if I fail?? What if I can't do it?? What if it's too hard?? And so it's been easier to not try than to try and fail. But I feel like me and Jules can do this. I feel like WW is the most realistic way to lose weight. And so...at least for this moment, that comment has empowered me.

Now excuse me while I go eat a small palm-full of nuts. :)

Just kidding. I'll do that after I finish this post.
In other news...

I am going home this weekend. Jules works for Southwest Airlines so I got a free flight to take home. YAY! I'm going on Thursday night so I can see the kids on Friday and then I'm spending the whole weekend with mom and heather! yay!!!! I'm very excited!!!

OK...now I'm going eat some nuts!

Leaving on a Jet Plane???

So, I think I might try to go home this weekend. I have two free flights that I have to use by the end of December, and so I have been looking at my work schedule and it's virtually impossible for me to miss any weekdays, except MAYBE a Friday. Being out of town on a M-Th is just not going to happen. So, I am thinking if I use one of my free flights in November and another in December then it's a way more plausible approach than using two in December. You see, the way it works is I have to fly standby, so I have to pick flight days and times where there are lots of openings on the flights I want. So, If I try to fly on a holiday weekend, it's not going to happen. I'll end up sitting at the airport all day, wasting my time, because all flights will be full around the holidays. Also, weekends are usually a pretty bad time to fly, but the schedules look okay for this weekend. Next weekend is a bust, because it's the weekend after Thanksgiving and there's no guarantee I'd be back before work on Monday.

But is it too much for me to ask my family to drive all the way to Nashville to pick me up. It's about two hours each way and that's a lot of driving in a weekend. I don't know. I wish I could rent a car, but they're so expensive. I have to talk to my mom and sister about it...see what they say. I know they'd like to see me, but maybe they'd like me to wait until I can take some days off. Maybe leave on a Thursday night and take Friday and Monday off then come back to work on a Tuesday. It might be possible in December, but I'd have to do some maneuvering. Anyway, I know I am so lucky that my dilemma is that I have free flights and don't know when to use them. I am lucky that my dilemma is not that I cannot afford a flight home to see my family, like it has been in the past. But, seriously, I want to use these flights so they're not wasted!!!

What to do?? what to dooo???

Hello!!!

I wish that I could be at home, in my pajama pants, watching chick-flick after chick-flick all day long, with a large diet coke, taco bell, and chocolate at my disposal.

But today is day one of Weight Watchers. So instead, I am wearing normal clothes, and eating things like carrots, and hummus, and other things things that grow in the wild. Which would be fine if things like carrots and hummus tasted good. But they don't (unless the carrots are smothered with ranch dressing, or cooked and covered in butter.) So, there is my problem. It's a change of mindset. I HAVE to do this. Two pounds a week for a year is over 100 pounds. HELLO!? that's insane. Two pounds. WHO CAN'T DO 2 POUNDS A WEEK?? So, today is day 1.

Please say prayers for me. I'm already hungry. :)

A new level of "dummy"...

So, my poor little niece broke her arm. See:

At least she gets to rock that pink for 6-8 weeks.

And for those (one) of you who are wondering about the title of this post...it refers to her dad. Catie Grace fell out of a truck, from what I understand, and tried to catch herself, hence the broken arm. Although they didn't know it was broken (mostly because none of them have x-rays built into their brains) and so her dad asked her (the 7-year old who has never broken a bone before) if she needed to go to the ER. He says she said no, she says she said yes. Regardless of what she said, he didn't take her and she had to go two days with a broken arm before my sister got her back and saw in 3 MINUTES that something was wrong with her arm! Oh man! So, he's not on my top 10 list of smart people at the moment....but he DOES make a different list. ;-)

Jet-Lagged

My boss has been out of town since October 27th. He and his wife went to various areas in Europe, spending most of their time in Germany, with one of their oldest friends. I'm sure they had a great time. I got a text message from my boss yesterday around 4:30 saying something like this:

"were back. n chicago. any patients tomorrow? were very jet lagged." or something close to that.

I wrote back and informed him (for the 45th time) that I had cleared the schedule a long time ago and he was not expected back at work until the 13th. And I might have told him to chill, or something.

So, I'm pretty sure he's still going to be jet-lagged tomorrow...because you just don't recover that quickly from that many days of different time stuff. I tried to talk him into taking the rest of this week off, back when he was planning the trip, but he said his usual, "It'll be fine." And I think that his record of being right once he's uttered those words is pretty pathetic. He really should try to listen to me sometimes. Anyway, of course I stacked the schedule extra full for the rest of the month because he wanted to make up for the days he has been out (half the month.) And the week before he went out of town we saw like 20 patients who couldn't be charted on at all because of technical problems with the charting program here at work. They are leaving the records open until the 15th. That means that not only does he have to see a full day's patients on Th and Fri, but he also has to chart on 20 patients that he saw like 20 days ago. And I get to be the one to tell him all this. YAY!....................boo.

So, anyway, aside from still being sick...and the dread of clinic opening back up...things are going pretty good. We're having a coffee house tonight at CommUNITY group. That should be fun!!

Oh..and I just need to admit that I took my niece to see High School Musical 3 while I was in Alabama, and I JUST LOVED IT. I think I am really a 13 year old girl trapped in a 24 year old's body. :) OH, that troy. It should be illegal for someone so young to look so beautiful.

Seriously??...seriously?

Well, after 2 separate visits to the doctor, within 3 business days, 60 dollars later, I am STILL not getting any help for my sickness. Whatever sickness that might be. I just think that doctors become so numb to sick people around this time of the year, that they just brush you off as though you are a waste of their time. Maybe they'd like me better if I had the plague or something more interesting than a chest cold. Maybe they'd like to help me control my symptoms (at least) instead of telling me there's nothing they can do if I had nails sticking out of my head or something. I have no idea what I have to do to get some help, but I do know that I'm switching to a new doctors office. I have tried a different doctor at the office that I'm at now, and I LOVED him, but he has proven to me that he's not one of those doctors that TRULY want to help you. Here's my problem:

REASONS I GO TO THE DOCTOR:
1. Over-The-Counter medications/remedies are not working.
2. I am getting worse, even while taking the OTC's.
3. I feel so crappy I can hardly stand it.

NOT REASONS I GO TO THE DOCTOR:
1. I just wanted to see how my doctor is feeling.
2. I want to literally SEE my doctors face (because he's very good-looking).
3. I had 30 extra dollars lying around and had NO IDEA how to spend it.
4. I just wanted my doctor's opinion or thoughts about a particular issue.
5. I had too much free time on my hands and thought that spending hours at a doctors office sounded like TOO MUCH FUN!!

I mean, seriously?? Do doctors think that you come there just to hear them talk??? NO!! I am not saying I am as smart as a doctor, or that I know everything about all illnesses. But I do know my body. I DO know the common illness's that I get, and I know how to treat them. When that doesn't work, or when I get sick with "something new" then I go to the doctor to get HELP...not to hear their opinions. And, even if it's a virus and you cannot "FIX" me, you can give me medicine that will treat my symptoms. And I'm not even talking about medicine that I can sell, or abuse. I'm talking about a stinking antibiotic or a disgusting cough medicine so that I can get some sleep and actually FUNCTION!! Do they really have to treat you like you are going to try to inject your cough syrup in your veins if they give it to you??? I mean, seriously?????

I am just fed up with the medical system. When I lived in the South I could CALL the doctor, tell them my symptoms, and they'd CALL IN A PRESCRIPTION for me. Out here, I have to call the doctor, beg them to even see me, let them take my money and then they say things like, "your body just needs to work through this," or "I really don't give prescriptions to people unless they've been sick for about 12-14 days." SERIOUSLY??? how many of you are going to wait TWO WEEKS before going to the doctor when you're sick!?? hello!????? These hippie doctors are CRAZY! And I just don't think I can take it ANYMORE. I have to find a doctor that will HELP me.

SERIOUSLY!!!!

And to think...I used to be "most dependable"...

I know.

I did a terrible job of blogging while I was gone.

The truth is, I had the BEST time. I really got to spend a lot of time with my sister this time, and that made it such a special trip. I really wasn't ready to leave, and that is still causing me grief. I love my sister--I haven't kept that a secret. But to get to spend SO much time with her was just heavenly!! I can't wait to go back to do it again!

The bad news is that I am sick. I resisted the illness that my sister, mother, niece and nephew had the WHOLE time I was there. I came home and Jules was sick too. I'm not sure which one I ended up with, but I'm not doing so great.

I stayed out of work on Tuesday and Wednesday and today I'm leaving early to go to the doctor. I'm taking off tomorrow too. The thing is, I don't get sick very often, usually. I have been sick three times in the past 3 months. I just think that's too much. So, today, I'm expecting to get some answers. :) I have a wonderful doctor anyway, after I fired the first one...so I'm really anticipating a pleasant visit.

Anyway, I'm freeeeeeezing right now in my office. The other girls here swear it isn't cold...but i just checked my temperature and it's normal. I think there's a draft over where I sit. Oh well, I'm leaving in a bit anyway.

So, this is why I haven't been blogging. I miss my sister terribly. I wish my family would move here...then we could all be together. Besides, we ALL know that they'd love Colorado more than Alabama. They are just afraid of the snow...but we could work with that, right? :)

Anyway, I'm sure it'll be a few days before I post again. I am going to try to go to fusion this weekend...it's been a LONG long time since I've been. But, anyway...